-mezzanine ; hetalia ask game-

stolen from mich's blog~

America: What is your favourite place to eat?

Japanese restaurant~

Australia: Do you have any quirks when speaking?

I speak too much. 

Austria: What kind of person do you wish to be?

A person that improves everyday?

Belarus: Is there anyone you love? Family, friends, romantic interest?

Family, friends, boyfriend :*

Belgium: What do you think of your siblings?

FAT.

Botswana: Do you like to sing? Why or why not?

A little too much xD

Bulgaria: Who do you consider close to you?

My bestfriends.

Cameroon: Describe your culture.

Too many to describe.

Canada: Favourite wintertime activity?

Ice skating~

China: What was the best moment of your life?

Everything?

Cuba: What sort of grudges do you hold if any?

Complains of course xD

Cyprus: What hands-on activities do you like (drawing, carving, building, etc.)?

Does writing count?

Denmark: Do you wish for something of your past?

No...

Egypt: Do you stand up for what you believe in?

YEP!

England: Are you controlling?

I am controlling LOL

Estonia: Do you think people often misunderstand you?

Too often.

Finland: What do you prefer, kindness, sternness, or apathy?

Kindness.

France: How do you show love for those you care for?

By talking to them (?)


Germania: What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?

Forgiving ppl..

Germany: Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?

Very funny. Look above.

Ghana: What is our favourite sport?

Swimming~

Greece: Do you let other help you when in need?

No.

Hungary: Who is the person you trust most?

Me xD

Hutt River: What is the most memorable dream or nightmare you have had?

Died and reincarnated.

Hong Kong: Do you fear death?

Yep.

Iceland: Do you hide your real personality? Why?

Noo. They're too loud to be hidden.

India: How important is family to you?

This important.

Japan: Tell us a secret about yourself.

I'm good at keeping secrets. *paradox

Kenya: What is your favourite wild animal?

Horse <3

Korea: What is one thing you accomplished by yourself?

I don't know xD

Kugelmugel: Is there anyone you have a love-hate relationship with?

Nay. There's a thick borderline between love and hate.

Latvia: Do you believe you are brave?

At some moment, I do.

Ladonia: What is the internet site you visit most often?

9gag, email, facebook.

Liechtenstein: How do people underestimate you most often?

They think I can't achieve things.

Lithuania: Do you desire power?

In its other form : money.

Macau: What is your favourite festival or celebration?

The one that involves skipping school.

Molossia: Do you consider yourself strong?

Weak as f-ck.

Monaco: Do you think you are a lucky person?

Yes I am :)

New Zealand: Would you rather be an elf, dwarf, Hobbit, or wizard?

WIZARD!

North Italy: What is your least favourite part of your personality?

Emotional.

Norway: What was the most disappointing time in your life?

Forgot about it already~

Netherlands: Most generous thing someone has done for you?

Caring me for 17 years and more :)

Poland: Hardest thing you have gone through?

Surrounded by bitches.

Prussia: Would you prefer to live forever or die alone?

Die alone. Maybe my loved ones could follow the day after *eh


Roman Empire: How would you like to be remembered?

Any way would be fine.

Romania: What is something you are very ashamed of?

My statement almost 2 years ago.

Russia: Have you ever suffered from low self esteem? Do you still?

Yep; still.

Sealand: Who is your best friend?

My best friends.

Seborga: What is your favourite beverage?

Mineral water.

Seychelles: How do you handle people being rude to you?

By being a mirror to them :)

South Italy: What is your favourite part of your personality?

I don't have one favourite. I love them all *muahahahaha*

Spain: What would you tell to the person or people you hurt most if you had a second chance?

Sorry.. It's okay if you won't forgive me :(

Sweden: Are you a leader, follower, or independent?

Independent.

Switzerland: Would you consider yourself evil, good, or neutral?

Somewhere between neutral and evil..?

Thailand: How good is your poker face?

Awful.

Tibet: What do you value most?

Trust.


Taiwan: What do you think of the people or person who raised you?

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Turkey: Would you ever want children?

Yes I do. I love children <3

Uganda: How would you like others to see you?

like I care.


Ukraine: What is one thing that has made you stronger in life?

Gym (?) 


Vietnam: What is something you are proud of about yourself?

:)

Wy: What kind of art do you like?

Classic ones.

Zimbabwe: Who is your favourite character from any folklore?

Jack. From the beanstalk. LOL

-day 129-

Hey. It's been awhile since my last post.

I hope I could go anywhere out there. Anywhere, but home.
I need a break from this. From our debates.
It hurts a lot to face things like this.
From being rejected by an uni...
And my parents carelessly add more sadness by saying - out loud.
I can't say what it is. Afraid that I'll offend some people.
That's not the main pain : it's the arguing part.
Accusing me not trying hard enough, doesn't deserve to be student of great universities...

Trust me, it hurts so f*ing much.
Okay maybe I haven't given my best..
But I didn't perform that bad. I mean I gave my "optimum" results.
Hah. I need a place to shout my heart out.
I have to be alone 3-|

-day 128-

Hello all~ It's been quite a while since my last post :')
I was preparing for the National Examination (the so-called UN)

I'm quite sad to say that my high school life is over....
Three years I've survived as a proud smukier.
Well, not much to tell.. But I have some plans to be done this holiday.
Get a driver license, practice with some orchestra, make some changes to my body (yes, I'm going to a fitness centre), help my uncle's store...
And the most important : I'm going to visit churches around Jakarta! Yay~
I'm quite lucky to have friends who doesn't mind bringing me to their churches..
I really do hope that you guys could help me by suggesting a church for me to visit :D

Anyways, we're going to face the national examination tomorrow...
To be honest, I'm quite nervous. Especially for Indonesian language and biology. Effing scary.
Not that I'm afraid that it'd be hard..
But I always make silly mistakes. T_T

Well... Shouldn't be online right now, so I won't write too long..
See you all soon! :3

-mezzanines; nightmare-

Perfect meme to start this post.

Last night, I went to sleep at 12 a.m. (which is quite normal for  the night before mathematic test)

And suddenly, a nightmare.

I was going for a trip with four friends (but only one of them is familiar) to a place I don't know.

We're walking at old shopping complex (well maybe like "Kota Tua", but not in Indonesia) when we decided to go look for a place to stay.

Then, we entered a hotel - or more likely an old place with rooms to sleep. There're only two rooms on the first floor, and the other one is not used anymore (the receptionist - which is also scary - told us that the room is used by the 'guard')

Tired, we decided to relax at our own beds and talked about the scary things.

As you all know, I am a scaredy-cat, and the others tried to convince me that those things don't exist.

Worse, the room was kinda gloomy (with all that old-looking furniture and insufficient lamp) and I had to sleep at the furthest bed (there's 5 beds, and mine's closest to the door)

Just when I tried to be calm and believe that nothing would happen, I felt that somebody - or something - held my hand (the same way we use our bolsters)

Well you guys could guess how I'd reacted, right? *fuck*

Then she (yes, it's a little girl) started to talk. Sad things; I couldn't remember what she said exactly.

I tried to talk to her like talking to normal people (of course I was scared, I couldn't move at all) when suddenly she said "Sebenernya aku bukan anak kecil, aku udah SMA, bahkan lebih" (not going to translate this one, it'll sound so strange that it isn't scary at all)

And then, I could feel that she grow. Then, she held - not literally held, more like trying to stab my hands- with her nails.

Shocked, I woke up at 4 am. OF COURSE I couldn't get back to sleep. So I decided to go online LOL.

So I did my maths tryout with only 4 hours of sleep. Damn.

To be honest, I never (or rarely) caught nightmares. And I'm quite afraid, because dreams were usually a sign for something. I hope nothing bad would happen x_x

-day 127-

Greetings. On 24th of March, two of my friends had their birthday.
So today we decided to throw a surprise for them.

It was a happy moment. Or at least, it should be.
But memories from my birthday still haunts me even until now, making me somehow allergic to surprise parties.
I hate it so much. It's still fresh, when I cried because nobody gave any effort to make one for me.
I was so disappointed (not that I join - and arrange surprises because I want them to do the same, but still...) that I got depressed.
And today, the depression strikes back.

(deleted)

Yeah it's dumb, I know. But still it helps me to face problems and not hurting others :v

After that, we (me, Nces, Tania and Jose) went to CP, ate at Kitchenette (Nces' treat) walked around and finally talked at Comebuy. It was a great time with them *hugs*

Well I know that today's post is so fucked up, but thanks for reading anyways :)

-day 126-

Started with the "IELTS" test....
We spent rest of our day @ the hall.

First, we had a seminar - motivation seminar - (and I thought that it'd be nonsense and useless)....
And that was F-ing amazing. Really.
Well, especially the second speaker, Mr. Mario Suntanu (fyi he graduated from SMAK 1 8 years ago lol) who told his story.....
It's like he's perfect in every single aspect of life, which makes me jealous.
Continued his study at Stanford and Harvard. That's helluva university.
When I heard his story suddenly I feel motivated and happy.... But it didn't last long.

Went home, talked to my parents and suddenly realised that life isn't always fair.
The truth is, it is fair for someone who have the money.
Like, my dad said, that "to study abroad you won't need intelligence (which I know it's not true; except if you want to study at a nobody-knows-where-and-what-is-it university), all you need is money"
A lightning struck me (no, not literally, I'm still alive) right at my heart. At that moment I realised that his statement is true. If you can't pay, there's nothing you can do (if you're that smart - THAT smart, maybe you could apply for the scholarship)
You may dream. Dream as much as you can. But be prepared....

I was an optimistic happy girl back then. Over time, life killed my dreams and slowly scrape my idealism and optimism away. Life was easy. Never failed, never rejected.
I never have to try hard to achieve things. It's like I don't have to do any effort. AND I DO REGRET IT.
Maybe, if I tried harder, I could go to a better university. Maybe, if I had more money, I could go to a better university too.
But, I don't.

Well that's enough complaining I've done. Maybe it's time to get back to the real world.

-day 125-

Hey all~

Today's a great day! :D

Well... Spending these weeks (since friday 17 up till next tuesday tho) doing this practical exam....

Felt so lucky sih. Everytime I have to pick a lottery (what) to determine what question am I going to answer, I always got the easiest one (or at least for me it's the easiest one) so the practical exam went quite well (except P.E. of course)

And, in midst of this practical exam, we went to Ancol (it's Mike's birthday treat) to eat together @ Pizza Hut. That was fun. And, after all....

LOL. We ate. Like monsters :[] HAHA after our tummies full enough, some of us went home, Mike and his GF and another girl (idk if she's the GF's sister or who) went to a beach; and we (me, jere, jose and my brothers -> rusli and cecen) decided to get a trip with boat, which is quite fun! XD

Well, although it might not so far or whatsoever, still...

A day spent together is a day well spent~ :)) 

 

-mezzanines; seventeen questions-

Got this q's from Mich' blog..
And I'm dead bored (no, no study here) so I decided to fill these up. Kinda funny :))

• Normal: Do you have any hidden talents?
  Yes; lots. Actually I guess all of my talents are hidden, because I've found none.
• 
  
• Fire: Would you consider yourself hot-headed or more even-tempered?
  ... The answer is so obvious that I think I don't have to write it. Hot tempered :v
• 
  
• Water: Can you swim? Do you like to swim?
  YESSSSSSSSH.
• 
  
• Grass: Would you say you have a green thumb? What have you grown?
  I have a brown thumb. I've grown so many dead plants.
• 
  
• Electric: What do you think of thunderstorms?
  *singing Ted's Thunder Buddy song*
• 
  
• Flying: How high have you ever been up?
  Troposphere high.
• 
  
• Rock: What is your most precious treasure?
  Family and friends. And knowledge. 
• 
  
• Ground: Are you down to Earth or would you say your head is more in the clouds?
  F-ing down to earth. Maybe underground. 
• 
  
• Poison: What is the most disgusting thing you've eaten?
  Skin? Blood? Pus.
• 
  
• Bug: What is your self-esteem like?
  I can do this better by my self. I need no help. I am better than you.
• 
  
• Ice: Do you have to warm up to people you've just met?
  Yes; especially for the ones that have no mutual friends.
• 
  
• Fighting: Do you prefer hand to hand combat or to fight with a weapon?
  Mouth to mouth. My mouth is the best weapon that I have, since I am feeble.
• 
  
• Psychic: If you could choose telepathy, telekinesis, or precognition, which one would you choose?
  Telekinesis! I could be a Jedi. A Badass Jedi.
• 
  
• Ghost: What are you most afraid of?
  SPIDERSSSSS OMFG SPIDERSSSSS
• 
  
• Steel: Are you brave or do you easily become nervous or scared?
  "or"
• 
  
• Dark: Are you street smart?
  Nein.
• 
  
• Dragon: What is your favourite mythological creature?
  God :))

No offense for the last one ya (^~^)v

-day 124-

IT'S VALENTINE~
It was a great day indeed :)

Well.... Started the day with two tests; but luckily I managed to do both of them....
Without studying. Last night we (my family) went to mall just to accompany my little brother to buy some chocolates for his crush. :v
I feel pathetic yesterday. *le sigh*

But today is a blessing :D Happy day~
This made my day <3
So IN THE MIDDLE OF MY GABUTNESS (le epic glance at mich & cir) three cupids came to my class and gave me three roses and chocolates....
And later to follow another courier came and gave me three cupcakes :3
This is super cute >< Thankiessss :*
Just for your info all these presents were given by somebody - "273" *smirks*

Sorry I can't prepare anything for you... ( ._.)

And thank you one more :*

Anyways; you know that today we celebrated valentine at school..

So the committee decided to open up a cafe at the 8,5th floor.

.... It's quite good actually; pretty cozy and romantic...

Yet I have nobody to be with there... T___T I wish you were here.. T,T

Also the celebration was quite enjoyable actually; so Tio (my classmate!) sang two songs (one made by himself; other one is "Butiran Debu" translated into english; chinese and german) and that was funny. Super funney. Continued by games for couples; which is also quite entertaining. Not going to tell the whole story; you could read it here in Indonesian Language. 

Yahh everything else went pretty well so I won't talk to much; better prepare for tomorrow's first practical exam : PE! GBus... ><

See you ;)

Maybe you wonder why I highlight some of the text... (In this blinding colour lol) It's the part that I updated.

Wrote this right after my PE practical exam; which I failed LOL. Not really that I-want-to-kill-myself failure; but enough to embarrass myself... *le sigh*