-the 93rd day-

EVENING! :D
Great day, no?
Well.... It WAS a great day..
Especially with this awesome opening of smakONE cup 2011; WONDERWORKS !!
And two great games by kr1za futsal team, SMAK 1A and SMAK 1B!
Everything turned out just damn good (y)
But I'm awfully exhausted... x(
Never reach home before 20.00 pm since monday...
Now my whole body's aching T_T


Actually I have something to talk about here.
BUT, BECAUSE I KNOW I'M FACING SOMEONE WHO THINKS THAT HE ALWAYS RIGHT ALL THE TIME....
I canceled posting my opinion. I'm just too frustated... -_______-
Well, thanks to him now I have this new motto :

" To lead is to serve"

LOL. I don't know (and don't care) whether the grammar is correct or not.
But starting today I'll be holding on that sentence... (switch)
Supaya gw bisa sabar dan tetep 'tabah' walau diperlakukan kurang senonoh #eh
What makes me stay smiling is just this stupid thinking :
'God has planned this for us, His children, and He won't give us something we can't bear. Everything He gave / will give is the best for us, and to make us grow stronger and closer to Him.'
LOL. I don't have any idea why I could say such a thing.. xD

-the 92nd day-

Hey guys. Can't believe how awful my mood is right now ;_;
Sheesh.
Just because of this 'little' unimportant matter.. -_-
Yes, I'm the only one who didn't competent enough to be this retreat committee. 
Well I have to admit that I'm not really into those thingy though.
But being the only person who doesn't get chosen... Bothers me.
Am I really that bad? I don't know lah..


AAAAAAANDDDDDD when I'm in the middle of depression...
Comes the second problem ;_;
I am indeed love to tease other.. 
And I know when I'm teasing sometimes I lost control...
I thought you won't get angry like this...
All I can do is just apologizing and not repeating this anymore..
But I have no ability to force you to forgive me though..
Yes, I realized that lately you're trying to restrain from me..
Why I didn't aware? I don't know...


I'm losing 2 friends in a day. Great.
I don't know whether I was destined to be a disturbing person or I'm getting worse and worse everyday...
Geez. Sorry for this unimportant post.. I'm having nobody to listen. T_T

-the 91st day-

Heyya all! :)
Sorry for (again) my late post...
Actually I want to post this @ friday night .___.
And now, there's too many topics that I want to tell...


Here's some which I consider quite important :


1. Our physics test, the one which need ONLY ONE MORE student to reach the minimum criteria of classical has failed to do so. It's quite normal actually, BUT what makes this one painful is because lots of student cheats their way into that un-remedial scores. Because of their immorality and egoism, we (ones who didn't cheat and failed) lost our chance to do the test once more -_- thanks a lot. -__- Sincerely, I got 37/100 but I didn't cheat.


2. My parents were really disappointed with my mid-term results :(
Although I've tried my best (what?? I haven't, really) but they kept asking for more!
I wonder how could I make them smile -_______-


3. I'm getting more confused about this university thingy.
After yesterday's edufair, I added some majors and unis I wish to enroll to -___-
It's HKU, HKUST, NUS, AtmaJaya, and PrasMul (okay almost everyone says 'WTF' about this one)


4. I missed church today and I feel somewhat.... Guilty.
I don't know whether this is a good or bad sign for my 'spiritual' (eh?) progress? LOL.


5. I'm falling deeper and deeper for him.... OHNOES!!!!
Yes, I don't know if it's just me or he's starting to care ;)
Everything is beautiful when you're falling in love <3

-the 90th day-

Hey all :)
Once again, life's been great for me lately :D
Yesterday I went to church. (ihwaw whut happened?) xD
And again, as always, I cried.
I'm getting gushier -_-a azzt.
I prayed that God would help me to believe and etc.. Let's see what will happen :p


This morning, I went to church AGAIN (okay this is getting strange)
But this time, it's GKY not a catholic church (went there with my friend to attend a lecture)
Yah. Not important. After that I spent around 1 hour cello-ing.....
And today I started to play THE SWAN!! :') :')
Just FYI, this song is my favorite among all.. It always reminds me of him.. ;_;


After that... I went 'home'. But, somehow I read my friend's bbm stats (yes, same person I went to the lecture with)
So I asked my dad to turn back to CP. LOL.
There, I attended a lecture (again) brought by Bong Chandra.
Andddddd I found this program is interesting and quite promising :D
Want to know more? Just visit this Bong Chandra School of Billionaire ^^
Actually my dad considers my attendance @ this lecture as a 'miracle' by God. LOL
Well I have to admit that this is a coincidence. Who knows, tho? :p

-the 89th day-

Hey guys :D
I'm just 100% happy today ^^
Although now my whole body's aching,, but it worth the fun :p

Yes, we went to Bandung for our science (or social) camp :D
I thought it'd be utter boring -_- but I have to admit that these 2 days were awsum! \m/
And spending a night (thanks God it's just one night) together inside a tent was great :D
Interesting, well-planned.. Delicious bunch of foods. (y)
And actually, LOTS happened. But of course I can't write all of them here..

So I choose this one : one that happened on our way to Bandung.
I forgot how we start debating (again, as always) about this faith, God, and religion thingy.
And we taaaaaaaalked. Till we 'arrived' at this sensitive topic.
It's about my 'haha' -_- (no, not my piggy laugh xD )
I was telling my friends about what my 'haha' has done to me.. When I began to cry. -_-
Yes, lots has happened. And 'replaying' all of them in one day wasn't really a great idea..
But I feel so much better after that :D thanks a lot for listening :')

Anyway.. I'm considering about making a post fully dedicated about 'why I become like this?' xD
I know it sounds stupid. But let's give it a shot ;)

-the 88th day-

Hey guys. Sorry for my (again) late post -_-
Thanks to my 'amazing' laptop, I'm getting crazy here.
Yeah, my laptop's an antisocial now. It won't connect to the internet, nor to my iPod. GRRR
AAAAAH! And now I know that this virus attacked my laptop....
CURSE YOUUUU!!!! GRRRR


Anyway, I went to the mall with my classmates yesterday :D
Even though I was late.. Really late. Yeah.
But I watched Final Destination 5 tho :D
And I kinda regretted. Scares me to my bone! -_-


Another thing I want to share.. Well I ended my mid-term tests with this failing biologay score ;_;
And I failed math + chem too! aaaaaaah T,T
But who cares? At least I had some fun.. *comforting self*


And yes, this world's damn small, huh?
It's like everyone around me knowsm each other..
Like this one, which shocked me almost till death #eh -_-

-the 87th day-

hey guys. I felt 100% random today, thanks to that dreaded chemistry test.
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!
I never felt this frustated before.. T_T
I don't know why this happened. Because of my effrontery yesterday, maybe? :(


Anyway, I made a summary for religion's chap 1-5..
You could download it HERE
Feel free to download. Just in the mood to share LOL x)

-the 86th day-

Hi guys. Sorry for my extra-long absence :<
I've been through some hard time lately..
T_T especially at school...
MY TEST RESULTS!!! Geez -__-
Hyah. Just 14 months here @ smakone and I've found 2 grey hair ;A;


Anyway. Remember that I've told ya about my problem?
Just yesterday I said 'I'm considering about changing into an atheist'
And then, it's like suddenly someone's talking about meh. LUL.
I have to underline the word -->'CONSIDERING' Okayyyy???? -____-
And just hours after that my dad suddenly asked me to go to church today. -,-
And there... Yes I was somewhat touched. As always.
But.. You know, my brain and my heart are 'fighting' right now.
It's like : 

My brain : "NONSENSE! Don't think irrationally! No such thing could even exist without any evidence! And there's no proof that God does exist, kay? It's just some people's imagination so they could have 'Someone' to be worshiped and blamed."

 My Heart :"you know He's there waiting for you, even after what you've said.. Why don't you try to open your heart?"

Yes, I'm stuck between my rational thinking and my conscience -_-


Okay. Let's just put that aside and talk about something less.. Strange.
Today my dad let me learn to drive.. Legally for the first time!!!! \m/
Why legally? Because I've 'stolen' the car and tried to drive it without permission. LOL.
AAAAAND.. It turns out that I've forgot how to drive properly and gave my dad some heart attack. 
I almost crashed into cars several times. But thankfully I finished the practice without giving my car any damage LOL x)


And I'm not very sure I could write more for this week... Because of this stupid mid-term test T_T Wish me luck! x) 

-the 85th day-

Azt. Sorry for my late post..
Lost my mood to write.. 
Yaaaaaaaaa yesterday I somewhat fought with my mom. As always.
But this time I think my mom's a little (okay not a little) over act.
I just asked her permission to go with my friend and she talked and talked and talked about unnecessary things and accused me about approximately everything she could say -_-
So tired. And when I called my friend, my daddy caught (whutt??)
And they got angry about it. -_____-
*sigh*
Wonders what so wrong with me or them. -_-
Hahh.. (switch) dannnn akhirnya gua gak pergi juga. Odong.
Sebenernya seinget gua sih ada yang mau gw omongin lagii.
Entah ttg that 'someone' or somebody else -_-
But thanks to that problem I've forgot it -_- HA!

-the 84th day-

Heyya  :D I know that tomorrow's the first physics test...
Damn so deadly x_x..
But I can't resist to check how's my blog going...
And I'm somewhat shocked when I saw that traffic sources. LOL
Ya, someone used this keyword --> "pieches SMAK 1"
Well, I laughed out lout. Really. (^_^)v


Anyway... Lately I've been spending lots of time just to think about this one topic.
"Does God really exist?"
Aaaaaand this 4 words grow into hundreds of question(s). Great.
I know it's not good to doubt your God's existence. But still...
There's no scientific proof about His existence. Only faith, religion, whatsoever.
FYI, I'm not really into un-scientific things. Yes, I've doubted and tried too seek logical explanations for those they call 'miracles' and things that they said 'happened with His help'.


*sigh* Can't believe I wrote those.
And I've been thinking about being an atheist (WHAT?????)
But I throwed that idea away. FAAARRRAWAY.
-_____- Felt like half of me wants to be close with God..
But the other half is dragging me away, and wants me to be an atheist.
Having this 'great tussle' (whut de??) inside annoys me damn much.
I should be studying physics right now, but I can't -_-
Better get goin. See ya :D