-day 126-

Started with the "IELTS" test....
We spent rest of our day @ the hall.

First, we had a seminar - motivation seminar - (and I thought that it'd be nonsense and useless)....
And that was F-ing amazing. Really.
Well, especially the second speaker, Mr. Mario Suntanu (fyi he graduated from SMAK 1 8 years ago lol) who told his story.....
It's like he's perfect in every single aspect of life, which makes me jealous.
Continued his study at Stanford and Harvard. That's helluva university.
When I heard his story suddenly I feel motivated and happy.... But it didn't last long.

Went home, talked to my parents and suddenly realised that life isn't always fair.
The truth is, it is fair for someone who have the money.
Like, my dad said, that "to study abroad you won't need intelligence (which I know it's not true; except if you want to study at a nobody-knows-where-and-what-is-it university), all you need is money"
A lightning struck me (no, not literally, I'm still alive) right at my heart. At that moment I realised that his statement is true. If you can't pay, there's nothing you can do (if you're that smart - THAT smart, maybe you could apply for the scholarship)
You may dream. Dream as much as you can. But be prepared....

I was an optimistic happy girl back then. Over time, life killed my dreams and slowly scrape my idealism and optimism away. Life was easy. Never failed, never rejected.
I never have to try hard to achieve things. It's like I don't have to do any effort. AND I DO REGRET IT.
Maybe, if I tried harder, I could go to a better university. Maybe, if I had more money, I could go to a better university too.
But, I don't.

Well that's enough complaining I've done. Maybe it's time to get back to the real world.